Get real!

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Nearly one out of three women struggle with being overweight*. While statistics typically are regarded to hold a degree of reliability, in this case the conclusion is perceived to be so judgmental to all concerned, that is it either ignored or questioned and inevitably put by the wayside.

And yet it is exactly what you see in society when you look around you. And the result you live with, and you are not even aware of it. Oh yes, you enjoy reading the ‘how-to-be-fit-in-three-months’ articles, or even cut out those pages with summer diets from that magazine, with the intention of pouring some serious effort into those exercises as off next week.

..oh, I'll cut that out..

But somewhere in the back of your mind you already know that it isn’t going to happen. Because next week you are extremely busy or invited to a wedding, a birthday- or farewell party. But the week after that, you are definitely going to take it on!

And this has become your life, always planning for one or two weeks ahead, constantly haunted by the thought that it is really time “to take some action”. That being non-committal in nature, deep down you know perfectly well that this isn’t going to produce any results.

You know you want to break out of this vicious cycle, but somehow you never seem to get there. Why oh why?

Escape by diversion

It is possible to train your unconscious mind to automatically create a hunger-feeling every time you are confronted with actions, thoughts or feelings that you consider uncomfortable (whether from your environment or within). Or to avoid really looking at yourself in the mirror, by bringing up an image of how you looked X years ago. Intellectually you know very well that those clothes don’t fit you anymore, but your mind perceives you still as that slim twenty-something. So there is no problem, is there?

What lies underneath?

Most people still fight against the demons of their childhood. Are you still hiding from a non-existing monster? You don’ know? Isn’t it time then, to start identifying those triggers and patterns?

Start with baby steps

Come up with one little thing that you can do at least once a day to move towards a solution. For example:

1. Drink water

When you feel the urge to eat between meals, drink a large glass of water instead. 80% of the time your body is not hungry but thirsty! Keep a large bottle within easy reach to take away any excuse.  Switch to a Thermos flask with hot water and a slice of lemon every now and then, and create a cleansing effect.

2. Breathe

Draw a couple of deep breaths, along the rhythm 1:4:2**. You can do this almost anywhere for five minutes: while waiting in line at the supermarket, walking down the road etc. (Note: don’t do this when you are driving a car, until you get used to it!)

Build it up slowly, you are not supposed to get out of breath. That funny tingling in your head and hands? That’s your body saying ‘thank you’!

Pull your head out of the sand

When you are ready to move to a “toddler step”, here’s a good one: Stop yourself every time your hand reaches out for the door of the refrigerator or kitchen cabinet, and ask yourself: what do I feel right now?

The feeling in thát moment is key. Thát is what you are running away from. What is it? Do you feel lonely? Hurt? Angry?

Stop yourself and ask "what do I feel?"

Have an egg timer handy, set it for ten minutes and allow yourself to feel those feelings completely until it rings.

After that, write down what happened. And: be honest. Admit to yourself that you might need help in shedding that old problem.

There are hundreds of self-help groups where people share experiences and support each other. Or call me for an eMMatrix session (click here for the counsellingpage).

Don’t be a victim of your habits. They have been learned and you can unlearn them.

Treat yourself to more in life, you deserve it!

**inhale for 1 count, hold your breath 4 counts, breathe out over 2 counts. Built is up: inhale for 3 counts, hold for 12, breathe out over 6; inhale  for 6 , hold for 24, breath out over 12, etc.

*click here to read obesity studies for USA or UK

The Art of Being

Have you ever wondered why you fall out of that wonderful meditative state you wake up to so quickly?

For one thing, in a woman’s world everything that happens is perceived to be equally important. So, ‘the milk is finished’ is right up there with ‘I have to get this contract signed today’ and ‘I have to call my parents’ with ‘I need to prepare my presentation for next week’. It is an equasion:

Woman’s world: all = equaly important

So it is no wonder I find it hard to stay in that relaxed, meditative state I wake up with in the morning. As soon as I get up, everything I encounter on my way down to my special place in the garden associates with at least a dozen other things, and invites me to speak or express.

This ranges from the stairs need sweeping, the mail sorting and the desk clearing to the sun is calling me to meditate, and I’d like to go bike riding; yes, a shower would be nice, tea, breakfast now or later? A passing car sends a song floating through the air…hmm dancing perhaps?

...can I pass without being distracted...

Hard to handle?

Do you recognize this? It seems so easy to get lost, doesn’t it… How do we handle this?

Well, it is useless to try and silence the mind. And equally useless to work (even) hard(er) to fit it all in. I’ve tried that for years, it doesn’t work.

What then? I’ll tell you my answer: I practice the Art of Being. Since I have adopted this, my world has changed dramatically. It might work for you too!

Now, before you say: but I don’t have time for another practice! RELAX!

Practicing the Art of Being tranformed my world

The Art of Being is done in NET: No Extra Time because it only requires AWARENESS. It boils down to an ancient message that is still very true today:

be totally present to whatever it is that you are doing

whether you are sweeping the stairs, sorting the mail sorting, clearing the desk, greeting the sun, riding your bike, shower, have a cup of tea and breakfast or dance! It sounds simple and it is. Simple, but not easy.

It takes time to relearn

For years on end we have granted our minds the liberty to wander off into future and past. The ultimate lack of awareness is arriving somewhere and not knowing how you got there; your body has gone through all the motions, your mind has been all over the place.

...we have granted our minds the liberty to wander...

Practicing the Art of Being means you strive for the opposite: total awareness – of every details of what you are doing there and then. In doing so you will eXperience how your body moves, how you feel  and most important: what your intuition is telling you.

...be totally present to whatever you do...

Being natural

And this fits women so well! Why? Because 4 out of 6 characteristics of the feminine energy are triggered:

SURRENDERING fully to what you are doing,
TRUSTING that it is the right thing for now,
following SPONTANIOUS impulses, and
EXPERIENCING the MOMENT.

And just wait until you feel the FREEDOM of that!  When you practice the Art of Being, you can’t be distracted unless you let yourself drop out of awareness.

Time Warp eXperience

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I doze a little after waking up and find myself pondering the concept of age. A big 2010 circles around my head, slowly coming towards me, then moving off in the distance again. After a while it changes gradually into a big 2012. I am not surprised, I read an article about it yesterday. Out of a corner my eye the number for my year of birth, 1963, now appears, floating along peacefully.

A few minutes later, more dates start passing before my inner eye, and a pattern emerges:

1963
1973    10 years
1983    20 years
1993    30 years
2003    40 years
2013    50 years

I smile in reflex at the sight of 2013. In that year I will be 50 years old… how beautiful.. the round number, now showing itself, feels very balanced, unlike the numbers before it. I feel very grateful…

I turn on my side, still smiling. To my surprise, the visual continues Read more »