Get real!

(klik hier voor de nederlandse versie)

Nearly one out of three women struggle with being overweight*. While statistics typically are regarded to hold a degree of reliability, in this case the conclusion is perceived to be so judgmental to all concerned, that is it either ignored or questioned and inevitably put by the wayside.

And yet it is exactly what you see in society when you look around you. And the result you live with, and you are not even aware of it. Oh yes, you enjoy reading the ‘how-to-be-fit-in-three-months’ articles, or even cut out those pages with summer diets from that magazine, with the intention of pouring some serious effort into those exercises as off next week.

..oh, I'll cut that out..

But somewhere in the back of your mind you already know that it isn’t going to happen. Because next week you are extremely busy or invited to a wedding, a birthday- or farewell party. But the week after that, you are definitely going to take it on!

And this has become your life, always planning for one or two weeks ahead, constantly haunted by the thought that it is really time “to take some action”. That being non-committal in nature, deep down you know perfectly well that this isn’t going to produce any results.

You know you want to break out of this vicious cycle, but somehow you never seem to get there. Why oh why?

Escape by diversion

It is possible to train your unconscious mind to automatically create a hunger-feeling every time you are confronted with actions, thoughts or feelings that you consider uncomfortable (whether from your environment or within). Or to avoid really looking at yourself in the mirror, by bringing up an image of how you looked X years ago. Intellectually you know very well that those clothes don’t fit you anymore, but your mind perceives you still as that slim twenty-something. So there is no problem, is there?

What lies underneath?

Most people still fight against the demons of their childhood. Are you still hiding from a non-existing monster? You don’ know? Isn’t it time then, to start identifying those triggers and patterns?

Start with baby steps

Come up with one little thing that you can do at least once a day to move towards a solution. For example:

1. Drink water

When you feel the urge to eat between meals, drink a large glass of water instead. 80% of the time your body is not hungry but thirsty! Keep a large bottle within easy reach to take away any excuse.  Switch to a Thermos flask with hot water and a slice of lemon every now and then, and create a cleansing effect.

2. Breathe

Draw a couple of deep breaths, along the rhythm 1:4:2**. You can do this almost anywhere for five minutes: while waiting in line at the supermarket, walking down the road etc. (Note: don’t do this when you are driving a car, until you get used to it!)

Build it up slowly, you are not supposed to get out of breath. That funny tingling in your head and hands? That’s your body saying ‘thank you’!

Pull your head out of the sand

When you are ready to move to a “toddler step”, here’s a good one: Stop yourself every time your hand reaches out for the door of the refrigerator or kitchen cabinet, and ask yourself: what do I feel right now?

The feeling in thát moment is key. Thát is what you are running away from. What is it? Do you feel lonely? Hurt? Angry?

Stop yourself and ask "what do I feel?"

Have an egg timer handy, set it for ten minutes and allow yourself to feel those feelings completely until it rings.

After that, write down what happened. And: be honest. Admit to yourself that you might need help in shedding that old problem.

There are hundreds of self-help groups where people share experiences and support each other. Or call me for an eMMatrix session (click here for the counsellingpage).

Don’t be a victim of your habits. They have been learned and you can unlearn them.

Treat yourself to more in life, you deserve it!

**inhale for 1 count, hold your breath 4 counts, breathe out over 2 counts. Built is up: inhale for 3 counts, hold for 12, breathe out over 6; inhale  for 6 , hold for 24, breath out over 12, etc.

*click here to read obesity studies for USA or UK

Everlasting Beauty

500 years of Feminine Portraits in Western Art

The Art of Being

Have you ever wondered why you fall out of that wonderful meditative state you wake up to so quickly?

For one thing, in a woman’s world everything that happens is perceived to be equally important. So, ‘the milk is finished’ is right up there with ‘I have to get this contract signed today’ and ‘I have to call my parents’ with ‘I need to prepare my presentation for next week’. It is an equasion:

Woman’s world: all = equaly important

So it is no wonder I find it hard to stay in that relaxed, meditative state I wake up with in the morning. As soon as I get up, everything I encounter on my way down to my special place in the garden associates with at least a dozen other things, and invites me to speak or express.

This ranges from the stairs need sweeping, the mail sorting and the desk clearing to the sun is calling me to meditate, and I’d like to go bike riding; yes, a shower would be nice, tea, breakfast now or later? A passing car sends a song floating through the air…hmm dancing perhaps?

...can I pass without being distracted...

Hard to handle?

Do you recognize this? It seems so easy to get lost, doesn’t it… How do we handle this?

Well, it is useless to try and silence the mind. And equally useless to work (even) hard(er) to fit it all in. I’ve tried that for years, it doesn’t work.

What then? I’ll tell you my answer: I practice the Art of Being. Since I have adopted this, my world has changed dramatically. It might work for you too!

Now, before you say: but I don’t have time for another practice! RELAX!

Practicing the Art of Being tranformed my world

The Art of Being is done in NET: No Extra Time because it only requires AWARENESS. It boils down to an ancient message that is still very true today:

be totally present to whatever it is that you are doing

whether you are sweeping the stairs, sorting the mail sorting, clearing the desk, greeting the sun, riding your bike, shower, have a cup of tea and breakfast or dance! It sounds simple and it is. Simple, but not easy.

It takes time to relearn

For years on end we have granted our minds the liberty to wander off into future and past. The ultimate lack of awareness is arriving somewhere and not knowing how you got there; your body has gone through all the motions, your mind has been all over the place.

...we have granted our minds the liberty to wander...

Practicing the Art of Being means you strive for the opposite: total awareness – of every details of what you are doing there and then. In doing so you will eXperience how your body moves, how you feel  and most important: what your intuition is telling you.

...be totally present to whatever you do...

Being natural

And this fits women so well! Why? Because 4 out of 6 characteristics of the feminine energy are triggered:

SURRENDERING fully to what you are doing,
TRUSTING that it is the right thing for now,
following SPONTANIOUS impulses, and
EXPERIENCING the MOMENT.

And just wait until you feel the FREEDOM of that!  When you practice the Art of Being, you can’t be distracted unless you let yourself drop out of awareness.

eXperiencing, by Diana

Below a review by Diana, who won a Tarot Reading during my time as a MoonScout (published with permission)

(klik hier voor de Nederlandse versie)

eXperiencing

If you shared what “experiencing” meant to you, you could win one of three gifts:

1) a Silk-meditation, for which Cheta uses soft silk from India;

2) a Tarot reading, focussed on your own problem solving capacities, and

3) an emMatrix session, in which where you eXperience your own balance.

Well, she knew which of those she wanted, that Silk meditation, that sounded delicious, even if she had no idea what a Silk meditation would actually incorporate.

Definitely no Tarot reading

What she did know, was that she preferred to see any Tarot Reading stay as far away from her as possible! No, her latest interactions with Tarot didn’t bring back any fond memories. However, fate stepped in, and on her 50th birthday she received the “good” news from Cheta, I can congratulate you twice Diana, first on your birthday and you have won a free Tarot Reading!

Trusting and Letting Go

She had about two weeks time to get used to the idea, and to let-go of her previous eXperiences with Tarot. Meanwhile, she felt more and more at ease around Cheta – who moves through Tilburg in a intriguing way – a way trusted Tilburg inhabitants could easily envy (which is unnecessary) – and in the end she could surrender herself completely to whatever was to come!

The day has come

After a spontaneous and warm welcome Cheta almost imperceptibly and very subtly shuffles the small deck of Tarot cards. Whether there is a question alive in her? Well no, not specifically, years ago she was full of questions, now it has almost become silent! What has been occupying her mind was this idea whether in future she could provide some extra income for herself through organising walks to the nearby Abbey, de Koningshoeve, walks she enjoyed herself tremendously time and time again.

The first card that Cheta turns is as surprising as the rest of them; they shed light on her life story now and the possibilities in the foreseeable future.

Surprised, amazed and light-hearted about all that is revealed, she listens intensively, the clock strikes twelve as the last card is displayed, she listens, her eyes glued to the cards, she understands and embraces Life, hér life!

The usual path, yet different

Joyfully and full of energy she says goodbye to Cheta with a heartfelt hug, on arriving home she grabs her backpack, puts on her walking shoes and sets off to discover the world, it is just her “usual path”, but it feels different.

Today she notices doors…. So very many different and beautiful doors. Her camera is working overtime, a girl jumps out in front of her, they both startle, but not for long, what a beautiful door this is, the girl looks, walks next to her and agrees, gosh, yes, we actually really have beautiful doors!

At the end of the street a feisty lady of around eighty is just as surprised, and again she is not, they talk about the doors, and about life, they soon will cycle over to the Abbey together she promises, yes, that would be nice ….

And so it is and this is what will happen.

Thanks Cheta, for this very special Tarot Life Experience.

All the Love, all the best. Diana

Beauty and Women – Elpidha Efstratiades

Kunstpodium T in Tilburg recently featured the work of young Dutch artist Elpidha Efstratiades. I loved all it, yet was especially touched by this drawing. Just look at it for a moment.

Confusion

For me, this drawing symbolises THE moment of confusion for a young girl: something or someone ‘from outside’ decides that it is time to grow up. You are expected to behave differently, adapt to adult life, attend to your school assignments more serious, perform (more) household duties, etc. The emphasis of life shifts to the importance of good grades. Dressing up boxes are moved to the attic… no more time to play…

About Elpidha Efstratiades

The shift from childhood to womanhood is a returning theme for Elpidha.

“Elphida Efstratiades depicts in her work the ambivalence between beauty and women. The clichés about aesthetics and gender are inextricably part of the child women which she captures so extraordinarily. Her drawings hover between looking like a cartoon and being realistic, and show more detailed pieces next to simple clear lining. Pencil and plain carriers as paper and wood are chosen to concentrate on the images.” Elphida has been nominated for the Dutch Allianz Grafiekprijs 2010.

Elpidha’s website shows a collection of her work.

Thanks for your permission, Elpidha, I can’t wait to see more art like this from you in future!

Introducing MoonScout May 2010

Every month, from full moon to full moon, Tilburg Ambassador of the Arts Zeus Hoenderop invites one of thirteen women to support him. He calls them his Moon Scouts. Together they promote the arts, the city and their respective messages.

Last friday at Kunstpodium T – a local art studio and home of the ambassador – the baton was handed to Cheta Urmila.

Moon Scout May Cheta Urmila, number nine in the series, supports the ambassador from May 28^th till June 26^th. This moon’s theme  is “eXperiencing feminine energy”.

Cheta’s Discovery

Everyone has their own unique balance between masculine and feminine energy. In our western society  It is clearly noticeable that this balance has become disturbed. Many people seem only to be occupied with taking action, with working hard and making money. There is hardly any  time in our tight schedules to really enjoy something. We simply keep on running.

Many years ago, Cheta Urmila life looked like this as well and it destroyed her health. Searching for answers, she sold all her belongings and started out on a journey of discovery. Much to her surprise she stumbled upon a inner strength that allowed her to let go of her exaggerated need of control: the feminine energy. Cheta Urmila gladly invites women to enrich their lives in this manner too.

As soon as you say “feminine energy” though, you often end up in clichés and stereotypes, Cheta has found. ‘That is why femaleXperience is geared towards personal eXperience. We can talk for hours about how things will feel, you’ll only know once you have experienced it for yourself.’

Step in the World that is known as ‘eXperience’

Her own life has taught Cheta Urmila that ‘always taking action’ – a quality of the masculine energy – only goes so far. Cheta Urmila: ‘I hear lots of women complain about something missing from their lives. Usually they”ll say that there is no balance. With constant ‘acting and doing’ there seems to be no room for ‘being’ anymore.

The way back starts with eXperiencing your own core. That may sound like a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be: looking at your house or your neighbourhood as if you had just moved there yesterday for instance, already gives a new perspective’.

‘At first I refused to accept it’, Cheta Urmila explains. ‘I was afraid to lose my identity as an independent woman. Hence the control. What is so special about this is that I haven’t lost anything. On the contrary, I have gained so much! Sometimes I even feel like I am more independent than before. Working from my feminine core is more fun and also more fulfilling. I wish this for everyone!’

For men, her message is clear too: eXperience the beauty of a woman who is living from her core.

eXperience it yourself!

Cheta Urmila has decided to give away three “eXperiences” for free during this Moon Scout project:

1) a Silk-meditation, for which she uses soft silk from India;

2) a Tarot-reading, centered around your own problem solving capacity;

3) an eMMatrix-session, eXperience your balance through conversation.

All you have to do to win is answer this question:

What does “eXperience” mean to me?

You can apply till June 9th 2010. The winners will be notified through the email address supplied with the answer and the result will be published on NL.femaleXperience.com.

The Silk meditation will be held in Tilburg, the Netherlands between June 23-26 2010, the other two in Tilburg, the Netherlands, yet these are just as good an eXperience over Skype.

CLICK THIS LINK AND ADD YOUR ANSWER

Trust and Surrender

As I felt I hadn’t been playing as full out as I could in my relationship – somehow I wasn’t completely genuine – I decided to experiment with trust and surrender, two of the basic characteristics of the feminine essence.

Like I said in other posts, feminine essence doesn’t mean “women only”. I like exploring my relationship with the feminine and masculine  characteristics, even the ones I think I don’t embody (and not even based on gender); I believe that the ability to which I can embrace these qualities in myself, allows me to understand them  in other people.

The eXperiment

The day before we leave on a weekend city trip, I ask my partner Graham to support me by not sharing where we are going, departure-times, gate numbers, etc. Directly after proposing this, I feel a familiar cringe in my solar plexus. All the more reason to follow through! Here’s what happened.

Day 1: This is easy!

I wake up and check in with myself. I feel a sense of relief not having the burden of paying attention to where we are going, and uplifted and happy about having the opportunity to just be present in the moment. At the bus stop I watch people walking by, a cat jumping out onto the road, the blue sky above. I catch myself trying to read the numbers on the approaching busses, and deliberately turn my back on the direction they are coming from. Graham nudges me for our bus and we hop on board. This is cool!

...in awe of the structures...

At the airport I look around and find myself in awe of the huge steel structures of the terminal building. An unfamiliar surge of energy suddenly runs up my spine. Like Alice in Wonderland I feel myself shrinking: I break out into a broad smile and turn into a little girl again. My adult mind registers an amazing freedom of responsibilities; I don’t have a care in the world. I want to skip and jump, to run around, I point enthusiastically at colourful adverts with butterflies. Everything is interesting and worth looking at. After about 10 minutes the feeling gradually disappears. During the flight I indulge in the memory of it and wonder why I ever was afraid to do this…

Is it really that easy?

Fresh through customs, I step straight back into controlling mode: we need to get a taxi, we need to get money, we need to… Graham just stands there and looks at me, silently. I repeat my words. Silence. I feel SO annoyed. Then it hits me: I am not surrendering! Let alone trusting that he will take care of everything… Shoot!

The same thing happens a couple of times during the afternoon; the habit is strong. Graham is marvellous in either pointing it out to me, or showing me through his body language that I am doing it again. I am really frustrated! With great effort I have been keeping my mouth shut over and over again, determined NOT to take the lead and allow Graham to be there for me! The things I do say are weighed carefully and judged harmless. Apparently they aren’t …

Day 1 results: No, not so easy after all

Over dinner Graham recounts the 9 times (in 6 hours) where I took over. Then he shares very frankly how hurtful that is for him as a man, this constant declaration of mistrust. He is there to serve, and perfectly capable of taking care of what is happening.

Silently adding the number of times I consciously kept my mouth shut, I am embarrassed to realize how often I do step in. I feel the fear of losing control roaring inside of me and my hands tremble.

Intellectually I know I can trust Graham completely. During our time I have been his girlfriend he has proven over and over and over again how capable – and willing – he is to take care of things, if I would only let him… We agree to start over the next day.

Day 2: Renewed commitment

Going down for breakfast I slip again, and yet again on our way out of the hotel. “Are you serious about this” Graham asks, “I am really starting to get annoyed!” I feel the tears burning behind my eyes as I re-commit. I have awareness now, it MUST become easier to do this! After biting off my tongue a couple of times, I decide to shift into acknowledging “taking-over” as soon as it happens. That creates some space. I start to understand what trusting really means: accepting that the other will be there to take care of things, even when they approach things their way (which by the way is all the f***ing time!); somehow that makes surrendering easier.

The next level

At the end of the afternoon, I feel something shift inside of me. It is as if a veil drops and a deeper reality reveals itself. I stop and sit down on a bench on the roadside. First I eXperience a sense of expanded awareness; then – almost instantaneously – I drop into a space in which I fully eXperience the moment. I have a clear sense of my intuitive guidance, am totally free and the potential of moving with whatever comes up right now is almost tangible. I  feel happy, free; free to be ME. Detachment of having to be in control also opens another space:  space to express whatever I want to express, whatever comes up.

...expanded awareness in the moment...

Day 3 and 4: BIG MAGIC

Over the next two days BIG MAGIC starts to happen. Instinctively I realize that all I have to do is take Grahams hand and follow along. In doing this, Graham and I start to flow together in a way that we have never done before. We don’t need words, we allow whatever is. He spots things, I spot things, he wants to look at the map, I admire the buildings, or the squirrel on the wires. I point out little details to him, that he says he would never have noticed otherwise. He gets me safely across the street when I get confused in all that traffic. Now we are BOTH having a richer experience. WOW!!!

At the end of day 4 Graham tells me how good he feels within himself to be called on like that. And how my surrendering over these past few days has allowed him to grow as a man. What a gift!

What I learned

One of my major learnings from this eXperiment was that in the end it had nothing to do with Graham at all. What it all boiled down to was that I wasn’t surrendering to me, because I didn’t trust myself. My controlling of the situation was based in my own insecurity; I was checking up on Graham out of fear, not out of interest, or my love of structure. I now know the difference. The question then is: what was I so afraid of?

I am still me

I found that my fear of letting go of control was based in another fear, a huge fear: the fear of losing my identity. And specifically the identity of the strong, independent woman with an I-don’t-need-anyone attitude. I have outlived this identity a long time ago, yet apparently it was still running the show. And as long as I had a sense of loss tied to this, it was very hard for me to even try it.

I now know that after the eXperiment I am more than I was before the experiment. Instead of having lost something, much more freedom has been ADDED, a freedom that is now readily available. Since I now have a reference to how it feels to be trusting and surrendering, I can tap into that feeling on a daily basis.

Surrendering to who I am at the deepest level also allows me to express more of me, as me! When I eXperienced that total trust inside of me, I couldn’t believe I had been afraid of it at all!

Waking up dormant parts

Through the eXperiment, I have re-awakened and embraced the energy of the carefree girl. Years ago I had put her to sleep, in a dorm to be precise. Cause guess what: “living in the moment” went to sleep as well that day, and that in turn sent “the magic of life” into hibernation!

...more alive with all your parts awake...

No wonder I was feeling empty, no wonder I couldn’t find my purpose. The carefree girl turns out to be an essential part of my inner core. And now she is back!

The polar opposite works as a catalyst

Having Graham there to support me on this quest has been immensely valuable. Even though in the end I realized it was all about me, I was able to fully open up and explore the dimensions of my femininity through the encompassing quality of his masculine energy. The polarity between the masculine force and the feminine force is an important catalyst to reach these results. So – although you don’t need a man to initiate this, eXperimenting within a context of polarity will allow the process to take off easier and return greater results – for both parties involved!

polarity acts as a catalyst

So, what is different now?

Does this mean I am now leaving everything to Graham? That I have given up making decisions, being independent, and follow along meekly?
Nope…

Do I never take control anymore, based on this?
Nope…

A month has passed since we went through this eXperiment, and as a result our relationship has shifted on several levels – and for the better.

First of all, Graham now knows that my “taking-over” has nothing to do with him; if I step in, he knows something is triggering my insecurity.

Secondly, with the reference for the new found freedom, I am now able to express my love of structure and making arrangements in a much more healthy way. Instead of sticking my nose in and demanding to know what is happening, we talk through our plans  and divide tasks between us. On the road, I now read signs for fun!

The third thing is not easy to describe. I have found that – through letting go of the need to control, of the fear that is - I actually am more in control of myself than before. I am more balanced, more relaxed, and have gained tremendous certainty in my day to day existence.

Now here’s a thought…

Gosh, I just had this interesting idea – what would happen if we would reverse roles and do another eXperiment? Graham exploring trusting and surrendering like this for a couple of days. That could be quite interesting. How about it, Graham?

You can eXperience this too

Which part do you need to wake up to come alive and feel the magic? I invite you to eXperience this for yourself. It is an amazing journey. What it requires is total honesty within yourself, and if you are planning to involve your partner, total honesty within the relationship. You have to be open enough to tell each other what is going on, without taking it personally.

Start with setting the parameters for the eXperiment, marking a clear beginning and ending. This is one of the prerequisites to make it work. Pick some days where you know you will have time to focus on yourself – or on each other. From the word go, start with surrendering to the situation. Give yourself time to get into this (or use the technique described in my post Learn how to eXperience the moment). Monitor your thoughts and feelings. Stick with the eXperiment for the whole of the agreed period. Allow it to unfold. Analyse the results and see what you have learned. Repeat as often as you like!

How will you know that you have hit bulls eye? When you surrender totally, you’ll drop into the full experience of the moment; that is your cue. And life will never be the same again…

Women on the Edge of Evolution

(klik hier voor de Nederlandse versie)

Katherine Woodward Thomas and Claire Zammit have initiated a succesful and interesting series, that certainly qualifies as a female eXperience!

Started as recent as October 2009, by now there are more than 40.000 women listening to – and participating in – a series of global tele-conferences. Speakers are well-known (and lesser known) women, who all have earned their reputation and are now sharing and applying their profound knowledge to define what a co-creative femininity actually is and looking for ways to develop it moving forward. This goes hand in hand with a beautiful awareness for the need of nurturing our planet.

Sofar the bi-weekly calls have featured women like Jean Houston, Lynne Mc Taggert, Barbara Max Hubbard, Diane Musho Hamilton, Marianne Wiliamson and many, many more.

The initiators have just decided to continue the series throughout the summer and with that they will be bringing us even more knowledge and inspiration. Their goal is to gather a group of 100.000 women, who will support eachother one way or the other in their personal development and growth. If this is something that appeals to you, I invite you to become one of them!

You can sign up for free at www.womenontheedgeofevolution.com

Once you have registered, an introduction to the speaker as well as date and time of the call will be emailed to you. If you can’t make it – or like me want to listen to it in your own time – you can download the recording of the calls for free afterwards. The archive contains all the previous calls; well worth browsing through. I’m sure you’ll find someone who appeals to you!

I am listening to a couple of calls at the moment, and even though I don’t agree with the somewhat “American Style” vision of Katherine and Claire, the information is amazing. I’ll soon let you in on my eXperience…

Moon Scout Seal for female eXperience

(click here for the Dutch version)

Zeus is going to make an official Moon Scouts Seal for all of us, and he has asked us to pick a symbol that we feel represents us and our message. How exciting!

I did some research and found the symbol of the Triple Crescent Goddess, as designed by Diana of Poitiers. Next to the three aspects of womankind (maiden, mother and crone), it also stands for Lady, Goddess, and the feminine polarity of the universe.

From the black and white image, I have created my own version. I really like colors, so my version has orange, turquoise and night blue. Put together with the seal, I reckon it will look something like this:

My Official MoonScout Seal!

 

CONFIRMATION!

Zeus is a “Nachtburgemeester”, and in this role acts as an independent ambassador for the arts and cultural issues in Tilburg, a city in the southern part of the Netherlands. The MoonScout Series is his idea and stems from a deep respect for the feminine energy. In September 2009 he decided to follow his impulse and proceed with it.

The concept is simple, yet very powerful. Over the course of one year, starting with the full moon on October 4^th 2009, Zeus appoints a MoonScout related to the corresponding 13 mooncycles. My slot is for June, starting on the full moon of May the 28^th. For the duration of “her moon”, the MoonScout has a free hand in manifesting her message from the platform in whatever way she chooses. So far, the series has seen poetry, discussions on the future of the city, a retreat in the woods, performance of songs and a bonfire, and there are many more interesting ideas sprouting as time moves on. You can read about it (in Dutch that is) at www.tilburgers.nl.

IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED, YES, YES, YES! Let me share with you why this is so important to me!

Ever since I got allotted the slot in early August 2009, I have been pondering on how to use this important opportunity for creating exposure for femaleXperience. During a seminar on manifesting your desires in October 2008, this drawing came out:

Flying Acrobatics/Luchtacrobatiek

THAT is what I really want! Deep down inside of me, a longing for a theatrical approach is stirring. A play, perhaps, or a show? Out of practicality, I pushed this longing to the background for most of 2009, and moved with what I held to be a more obvious way to spread the message: workshops. Having done a few, I know for certain that it is not where I want to be. I love my message, the vehicle of workshops that doesn’t feel right for me at this moment in time.

Chris Howard’s Advanced Presenter Immersion in London (October 2009) challenged me to explore the boundaries of presenting – singing too loud, outrageous dancing, overacting and  more crazy stuff. That struck a note within me. In the weeks that followed, I realized that NOW is the time to create what I love, not later, after doing something else first. The picture of flying over the audience became stronger and stronger in my mind again. And with that, I became more and more aware of the amazing opportunity that had opened up to explore that route: The MoonScout Series!

In November I gather information on learing aerial acrobatics, singing and acting on a stage, how to produce a show etc. etc. While the information trickels in, I start to realize that it will take me at least a couple of years to get to the level of skill I want to have… It took the graduation performance at NICA, the National Institute of Circus Art in Melbourne, on December 4^th to bring it home to me. Watching their performance – which was amazing by the way – two things kept running around in my head:

 1. I have never liked physical training, I like swimming, for fun! These people have gone through a 3 year program of 6 to 8 hours training per day. Even if I decided to enter, I already know I still wouldn’t be able to bend like that…

2. they really need someone to write them up some interesting stories; all 10 performances run more or less on the same old circus routine.

Walking back to the apartment afterwards, I recall my love for writing and editing text and my love for song lyrics. A few minutes later I stop dead in the street as the blinding flash of the obvious hits me: I don’t have to do it myself! I can employ people who are very skilled in acrobatics, and in singing and dancing on stage, to perform my story! I felt a weight being lifted from my shoulders. That night I fell asleep smiling from ear to ear..

The rest of the month I ask myself this question: if I were to create a story to tell women from the stage how important it is to experience their core energy, what would it be? What would I tell them? Gradually it became clear how to go about it. And also, that this wasn’t going to be just for women to watch; it would provide a strong message to men as well about the women in their life. Between Christmas and New Year’s Eve the name for the show pops: the Mirror of the Moon Goddess.

And with that the time had come to break this news to the world! On January 7^th 2010, I take a deep breath and send the following email off to Zeus:

“Dear, Zeus,

With the start of the new year, my MoonScout appearance is stirring inside of me (…). I have developed an outline for my contribution to the series, under the name: the Mirror of the Moon Goddess. It will be a dialogue between a woman and her masculine and her feminine reflection in the mirror, on finding the Goddess inside herself, embedded in music fragments. There will be some interacting with the audience. The intention is to create awareness of the power and beauty of the true feminine energy. I know this is it. I have not figured out the HOW yet. This is new for me, it will become clear over the next couple of months. I send you this now, so that you can go ahead with your planning.”

Over the month of January my ideas have expanded and have broken into two parts: 
Part I    The Mirror of the Moon Goddess
Part II  The Moon Goddess Mirrors

And today I received Zeus’s confirmation:
“Perfect, I’ll move ahead with this”.        WHAAAA…!!!!

On this blog you will find regular posts on my progress. Oh dear…here we go…!!

The show being in the Netherlands, I will run this blog simultaneously in Dutch.